A Love Story - 1

'Tell me, Marthe, where did you sleep last night?'

I'm having breakfast and Mum is working in the kitchen with her back to me. Why the hell is she asking that? Would she...? No, excluded right? Mama is not one to control us. And yet, why is she asking now, this morning, after I haven't slept in my own bed for the very first time, at least not all night...

She looks over at me and luckily I've just taken a big bite out of my sandwich so she sees that I can't answer her question with my mouth full. That gives me time to think of something, but on the other hand, I've never lied to my parents and I'm silently wondering if I'll do it for the first time or just tell the truth.

My mouth goes empty and mom comes out of the kitchen. She sits down at the table opposite me, dries her hands on her apron and looks at me. She looks me straight in the eye, not sternly, but still penetrating enough to know she doesn't want to be fooled.

I take another sip of my coffee, rinse my mouth, then say, quite truthfully, "By Jarne, Mama, by Jarne."

'With your brother? In his room or... in his bed? In a single bed?'

Her eyes widen and her searching look makes me blush. Anyway, I said A, so that B must also come from it. I wait a moment to see how she will react further, but she is silent and looks. For a moment I think I see the beginning of a smile playing around her full red lips, but that could also have been a twitch. At least she doesn't seem angry. She sits better, straight on the chair and puts her hands on the table in front of her, plays with her empty cup while her eyes never look away from me.

'Well, Marthe, you couldn't have slept on the floor, I suppose? Or on the chair at his desk? So there's only one place left... Or was he thoughtful enough to let you sleep in his bed and lay down on the floor? As I know Jarne, that seems impossible to me. Come on, girl, what's up?'

I grit my teeth and am ready to weather the storm when I tell her exactly what I did last night. Dad has already gone to work and Jarne has already gone to school. I have the day off because there is a teacher conference. We have plenty of time to be undisturbed and knowing Mama, and I think knowing her well after nearly sixteen years together, she will patiently listen and try to understand. But this time she might not be able to and she might get angry, maybe even punish.

"I've had a crush on Jarne for a long time, Mama." I feel myself begin to blush violently and lower my eyes. Now that I'm not looking at her, my words come easier. “I kept it a secret from him for as long as I could. Well, for a year or two I had no trouble liking him at all and being in love with him in silence. I didn't want anything from him, I mean. I didn't need anything either, so to speak... But in the last few months I really fell in love with him, I wanted him to touch me, caress me, kiss me... It got worse and worse and I couldn't do without it anymore I confessed to him. So yesterday... after swimming we stayed in the cafeteria to drink a chocolate milk. I had seen him for the umpteenth time wearing only that lycra swimming trunks. I know: all the boys only wear swimming trunks in the bath, but I never looked at that, it never bothered me. Only Jarne does something to me, I mean. So we sat there drinking our hot chocolate and I couldn't take my eyes off him. He asked why I was looking at him like that: 'Hey, little sister, what's wrong with you? You look like you're in love. Do I know him? Or is it a she? Oh no? I would already know that.'

So I took the plunge and said, 'Yes, I'm in love. For a long time. And you know him. Very good indeed. He's sitting right in front of me drinking chocolate milk.'

He didn't even look surprised. He just smiled and then said, “That's lucky. Really, Marthe, I would never have thought that of you. But I also happen to be crazy about you for a long time. Only... I didn't dare say it. I didn't even dare admit it to myself.'

'Really, Jarne,' I asked in surprise, 'so me on you and you on me? A long time already? Or are you suddenly saying that because I'm telling you now?'

'No, no, Marthe, not at all, what do you think? Have you ever seen me look at a girl? No, right?', he answered quickly. He also turned all red in his face and quickly continued: 'I've always been in love with you, nah! But I never or never would have wanted to say it. And never dare. And you, how long have you been keeping it a secret?'

So I told him without blushing, that I've actually loved him in a childish way since I was twelve years old, that I liked being with him and I liked playing with him and so on, but nothing more... And that a few months ago I began to dawn that I was really in love with him.'

'We cycled home, there was no more talk about it and we went to bed. But I couldn't possibly sleep. It was already after midnight and I was still wide awake tossing and turning in my bed. In fact, I just wanted to know from him if he was as in love with me as I was with him. I just wanted to wake him up and ask him and if he said yes then I would go back to my room and sleep... But when I snuck into his room the door was ajar maybe he had them deliberately not closed, he was still awake. He flipped on the nightlight and when he saw it was me, he whispered for me to close the door. I did and then he opened the blanket and I crawled next to him. I asked him if he really liked me and he said yes, sure, no doubt about it, for a long time. I set his alarm for 6:30 so I would wake up before you guys and go back to my room. And so it happened. I had only just got into my own bed when I heard you go to the bathroom. So I wonder how you knew I didn't sleep in my bed, Mama.'

"Oh, don't think I'm checking on you," Mom replied, waving the smoke from her newly lit cigarette with her hand. 'It's just that after making love with dad I lay awake for a long time and really wanted to change. On the way to the bathroom I had already seen that your room door was completely open and that your white duvet was on the floor. Since I was completely naked, I didn't want to come into your room and cover you up. I thought you had been tossing and turning and I didn't want you to get cold. So after I washed, I put on my kimono and came into your room and then I saw that your bed was empty. I left the duvet on the floor, but went downstairs to see if you were there, but everything was dark and empty there. So you couldn't possibly be anywhere else but in Jarne's room... I must admit I listened at his door, but all I heard was his snoring. But now that you've confessed so honestly that you slept with your brother, in that single bed at that, I also want to know what happened. Marthe, girl, I really have reason to be concerned. You will be sixteen in a few weeks and Jarne is not yet eighteen. You still have many years of study ahead of you and an accident will soon happen. I know you don't take the pill. I've never seen condoms in Jarne's room… Well, I assume you had sex…”

'No, mom, that didn't happen. Honestly, that's what I want, someday, or rather as soon as possible... But we've only been in each other's arms and kissed a little, on the lips. No more. If you really want to know: we fell asleep quickly. And when the alarm went off, I quietly crept out of bed and into my own room.'

Mama sat in her chair with her eyes closed for a long time. She poured herself a cup of coffee and lit another cigarette. She wouldn't do that if she wasn't nervous: she only smokes one after breakfast and the next one only in the evening when she's watching TV with Dad. So I just waited for her to say something again and secretly hoped she wouldn't get too angry with me. But she didn't.

'You know, Marthe,' she finally began, almost in a whisper, 'I know what it is, what you are going through right now. I've been in love with my brother myself - or one of my brothers, really. On Thomas. A year younger than me, not even sixteen at the time. And it was also mutual. We were madly in love with each other. So I can't judge you. But I can tell you: it will pass. That's why I'm not too worried, you know. I understand it all. And I think it's best played openly, here in the house. I know that if I resisted, you would only fall more in love. What is forbidden becomes more attractive. When my parents found out I was having sex with Thomas - they caught us in the act, so to speak - terrible punishments followed for him and for me. As a result, we desired each other even more intensely and became so cunning that we lied and cheated them in order to have a sneaky quickie. But in the end, we both fell in love with someone else. It was just a phase. Which doesn't change the fact that we still love each other, but when I started making love to someone else and he also had a girl, the urge to have sex with each other stopped. And that will happen to you too, believe me.'

"I can't imagine, Mama, Jarne assured me last night that he doesn't want anyone else and I don't want anyone else."

“I believe you, honey, but anyway, we all need a first crush to experiment. I just want to say that I understand you and I understand Jarne. I don't want to forbid you either. But I don't want any sneaky stuff. That means I'll talk to Dad about it. He knows that I had sex with my brother as a teenager and that history repeats itself, he can understand. I will be able to convince him, after all he is intelligent and open-minded enough. In the meantime, I just ask that you keep your feelings to yourself. If Daddy is really against it, there's nothing I can do for you either. My only defense will then be that you will do it in secret anyway, which is much worse. Then the confidentiality in our family is gone and I don't want that. We're so good together.'

"That's true, Mom." I got up, walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. She pulled me close and stroked my back. I was relieved.

"What will happen now, Mom?"

“I'll talk to Daddy about it tonight, child. As soon as you go to sleep. In your own bed, that is!' She looked sternly into my eyes. "Tomorrow is Saturday, then we'll all be home and hopefully we'll be able to talk about it very openly."

I gave her another quick kiss on the cheek and went upstairs to shower and get dressed. My heart pounded in my chest, with excitement and joy. I knew that Mom could convince someone and that she would do anything to make Dad understand that she had the best interests of us and the whole family in mind.

I was so relieved and so happy that for the first time I satisfied myself completely without embarrassment by aiming the shower spray at my pussy while I opened my lips with two fingers. I didn't have to pretend it was something that shouldn't be done, fast-quick, in a hurry, but extensively, fighting the oncoming orgasm for as long as possible by letting go of the sprinkler and waiting for my lump to feel like it again in stimulation. I suddenly felt like a woman. Still, I was relieved that I was already drying off when Mom stepped into the bathroom.

Something new had come between us, I noticed. While I got into my panties and my bra, Mom got undressed and that had never happened before. I had never seen her naked. She acted as if it was the most normal thing in the world and of course I wasn't peeking, but seeing her beautiful full breasts with those long hard nipples put me a bit unsettled. I myself only had an A cup and a pinkish areola with nipples that only erect when I kneaded my breasts while masturbating.

I went back downstairs and when Mom finally finished she suggested we go shopping in town. To my surprise, she entered a luxury lingerie store with me.

"I've been buying my stuff here for years," she said with a laugh, "and now it's your turn to make yourself pretty." I looked at her questioningly.

'You don't want to experience your first time in your everyday bra and your white cotton underpants, do you? And that doesn't mean it has to happen tomorrow or next week,' she giggled in my ear, then approached the saleswoman: 'Frances, show me what goodies you've got in the smaller sizes. I want something really nice for my daughter.'

And so half an hour later, after a lot of looking and fitting, we stepped out with three panties and matching bras with lots of silk and lace. My own choice fell on pastel green, which matched my ginger hair and my green eyes. Mum chose a set in ivory white and the saleswoman assured me that a set of a bra with almost sheer cups and equally sheer panties in what she called 'a subtle shade of gray with hints of moss green' would also look very good on me: 'It hides just as much as it shows,' she said, 'and that's what men want, isn't it?'

We went to eat and then went shopping and we talked as friends. Mama only hinted at Jarne and me once, as we passed a pharmacy: 'Shouldn't we buy a pack of condoms, Marthe? And I'll make an appointment with the doctor soon. You need the pill, you.' I laughed a little shyly, but she took me by the shoulders and looked me in the eye: 'I mean it!'

"That means you already know that Daddy will approve?"

'I don't know for sure, but I'll do my best, dear. I don't want to be like my mother and ban something with all my might that can't be stopped. No, I want to be a better mother than I was. And I hope your father will not react like mine, with hell and damnation and senseless punishments. And what I don't want at all is that you have to experience your first time in secret, somewhere back and forth, but as a party, because that's what it should be.'

In the car she talked about how much she regretted her first time, a quickie in the dark behind the wall of the youth club, in the grass, afraid of being caught by someone. 'We both wanted it, Thomas and I, we just couldn't wait any longer, but in hindsight it was no use to me. I can count on the fingers of one hand the times we've had really relaxed sex,' she sighed and ostentatiously held up two fingers.

At home she gave me a nice wooden box lined inside with satin: 'To keep your beautiful lingerie,' she laughed, 'I will also teach you how to wash it, always by hand and in lukewarm water with very little detergent and then very carefully. And I don't know if you need it, but trim your hair. Make sure they never squeak out of your panties, for example. I'm not good at a perfect trim myself,' she laughed nervously and quickly added, 'as ladies together, maybe we can groom each other.' She didn't look at me now and bent over my lingerie to remove the labels and fold them nicely, then put everything in the box and carefully closed it. When she looked up, I saw that she was blushing.

'All right, mom,' I said quickly, 'you can teach me. You can teach me anything if you want.' I hugged her and gave her a kiss that was meant for her cheek, but for some reason ended up on her lips. A dark glow passed through my stomach. We heard Jarne enter the house downstairs and we winked at each other.

'Don't say anything,' Mama whispered, 'Jarne doesn't need to know anything. Just act normal.'